What's in a speling?

What's in a speling? That which meant spelling when spelt "spelling" would mean the same even when spelt "speling".( Oops....The absence of "l" is more conspicious than I thought it would be). The same image of the great English play writer strikes my mind whether you spell it "Shakesphere" or "Shakespeare". ( That's better now .. the wrong spelling is less consipicious). Anyway my reason for saying this is simple. "Kiddo" has been wrongly spelt as "Kido" in my blog name. Even the redo, seems to convey the meaning of doing something again instead of souding as a proper noun "Redo" (read it as Red followed by o).

I have given this a thought. I was thinking if I should go ahead and change the name to "KiddoReddo". But even the sight of it seems to be too intimidating unlike the more mortal and simpler name "Kidoredo". After the blog-name should convey certain characteristics of it's writer. I usually hate when it people add letters to their names in order to lucky. I believe you make your own luck and not the spelling or the pronunciation of your name. So the name remains Kidoredo( and this post is a justification for the spelling cynics.)

I used the word "Kidobhai" in my last post and I realized that I have stumbled upon an oxymoron. Kido is a "kid" and can never be a mature "bhai" (and thus the oxymoron "Kidobhai).

Reel n Real

Sand!!! That is supposed to be on the beach. What the hell was it doing on the roads of Hyderabad? I am cribbing now because very recently my bike skid on the road courtesy the sand. Nothing serious except for a bruise on the elbow and the knee. But my left shoulder still finds the fall painful. When I told my cousin about this skid incident, she asked me if I was trying to perform any kind of "feats" on my bike like a filmi hero. Feats?? My foot!!! My bike, now automatically starts walking ( slows down like hell) when encountered with anything that remotely resembles sand or gravel on the road. And yeah I would never imitate a filmi hero while driving atleast.

Now then, there are so many things that you find in films ( especially the Bollywood and the regional lot) that are in no way realistic. How I wish college was something like what it was in "Kuch Kuch Hota Hain"? I wish I could do a Munnabhai and do a Journalism course in a good institute. ( It would be Kiddobhai, the journo instead Munnabhai MBBS :D). How I wish I had gals fighting for me just beacause it is me, the Hero. That reminds me of something. This happened just a few days ago when my latest blush( my equivalent of Sigmund Frued's Crush) told me that she is enagaged and will soon get married. This is what I had to say in a La Shahrukh Khan manner

Romeo( me me me):Did you ever love me? Atleast for a day? Atleast for an hour? Atleast for a minute? Atleast for a second? Atleast for a fleeting moment? ( Try to read this in hindi, "Kya tune kabhi mujhse pyar kiya hain, ek din ke liye, ek pal ke liye " and I guess you will have the sense of Dejavu)

Juliet: Yeah, I loved you for a moment, but I thought it was a "passing phase".

And that brought me dowwn crashing to the real world. Haa.haa!!! But then this is life and no cinema. Of course, there is always chance of her going for me just as her fiancee is about to tie the knot.( aaah.. many movies running in front of my eyes). But then it would be my turn to use the "passing phase" phrase. Biddu.. Life mein Aisa each hota hain!!!

Kabhi Kabhi

There are situations in life where nothing works for you. It is as if the world has conspired to make sure that you are doomed for that moment. I have just faced one such instance where I thought Life was laughing at me. Left with no other option I joined the laughter.

I was responsible for monitoring the batch tonight. For the non-mainframers, a batch is a set of programs( around 1000-1500 in my case) that need to be executed in a sequence. Mainframes has this tendency or more appropriately the capability to make an ass out of you and mock at you. Space problems, CPU allocation and the Mainframe getting slow.. all these are problems that make you pay for no fault of yours. Today has been a eventful day and all the three problems decided to strike me together. First the mainframe was pretty slow. I thought it couldn't get any slower than that. The space-problem is an evergreen problem and today ( err tonight) was no different. The space problem can be tackled by migrating the datasets( read files). The mainframe getting slow will frustrate you to no end but finally you can do the work ( it's only that the pace or rather the lack of it irritates you). The CPU problem is different. There is not much you can do when the CPU is not allocating time for your jobs other than just stare into the screen and expect that the job gets a share of the time soon.

That's what happened to me. I was staring into the screen with 3 jobs running for well over an hour and the CPU% besides them showing 0. Why did this happen to me? What am I doing here in font of this screen? Is this work really worth it? All these thoughts flashed across my mind as the song in the background played( you need songs to work in the the late hours)

"Kabhi, Kabhi .. mera dil mein .. khayal aata hain".

Aaah.. How true I thought..

Suddenly the male voice stopped and the female voice started...

"Kabhi, Kabhi .. mera dil mein .. khayal aata hain".

Bloody hell now I felt as if the 3 jobs on the screen staring into my face and singing the song.. "Kabhi Kabhi..." ( there were no females in the office around :D)

The song continued..

"Ki Jaise tujh ko bulaaya gaya hain mere liye.."

How true I thought. The jobs needed me to run them. They needed me to be there in the late night when no else was there to do the job.

"Tu ab se pehle Sitaaron mein bas rahi thi pehele kabhi..."

I dont know what this exactly meant. But to me it translated to the jobs telling me that I was enjoying office before this without any kind of work pressure leading a life devoid of any hassles.Life seemed to be such a bliss.

"Tujhe Zameen pe bulaaya gaya hain meere liye"

"Now you have been brought crashing down to earth to do this job" the mainframe beings seemed to mock at me.

Hmmmmm... Life has come a full cycle I thought. It's not my boss but a non-living mainframe being that is mocking at me. Huh!! I gave a wry smile with one hand on my head lamenting it's fate and other moving the mouse to play the song again. It happens sometimes.. Kabhi Kabhi!!!

The Wait

Have you ever waited for someone( need not be your boy or your girl) in a cafe or a restuarant or a Pizza Hut for more than half an hour? Have you ever waited for anyone at any place for that matter idling your precious time ? If you have, I guess you will agree with me that "The Wait" is not a amusing thing. Try to recollect carefully what you did during "the wait" and you might find that you thought crazy and acted crazier.

For all the reasons the person who made you wait could be blamed for ,I don't think even he or she finds it too amusing ( unless of course you have this habit of befriending psychos/sadists). The waitee ( my name for the person who makes one wait) would have been delayed by a genuine reason like office work landing all of sudden or the tyre going flat without any prior notice. The waiter ( yeah you are right the person who waits) turns hyper the moment he/she lands at the place of appointment. This happens even if the waiter had played the waitee just the previous day and was late by a good half an hour . "Oh... this guy has no time sense" would be a common thought after 5 minutes of wait.

Cometh the moment, cometh the mobile. Probably this is one instance where the mobile comes in very handy. "Hello.. Are you coming? I am already here waiting for you" goes the first call. Now the waiter, normally a person of normal eye-sight starts seeing the waitee in almost every person reaching that venue. The common comments being..

Oh.. I thought that was Abhishek( let's give the waitee a name instead of calling him a waitee always).He wore a half-sleeves shirt today.( Now all of the guys in half sleeves cannot be Abhishek. Isn't it???)

Oh.. I thought that was Abhishek's Blue Hero-Honda ( Hero-Honda does sell blue bikes to people other than Abhishek)

All the people except Abhishek seem to be making their way to this place( ???????... This is not your country-side farmhouse but a restaurant in a densely populated area)

Now the waiter runs out of patience.It's almost 15 minutes since "the wait" has started. It's the mobile again.

Waiter: "Hey, are you coming at all?"

Waitee: "I have just started.Actually... I had just started..."

Waiter: "Oh.. make it fast."

The waiting continues for the waiter. The eyes continue to deceive the waiter. Every now and then Abhishek seems to appear only to disappear again. The watch hardly moves it's hands but finds the most minute of its moments being observed by the waiter. The waiter's namesake ... I mean the waiter( in the normal "restuarant" sense) in the restaurant/cafe keeps now starts getting hyper and gets on to the already saturated waiter( in the context of the blog ). It's not even 5 minutes but the waiter now picks up the mobile again and gives a call to the waitee who replies that he is on his way. Someone please tell the waiter that mobile is a device that is used to communicate. It isn't any kind of accelerator and hence any number of calls to the other person will not make him/her come faster than normal. Visualize all this and try to look into the eyes of the waiter and you will find a couple of watches instead of the eyes.

Finally the waitee arrives and waiter is relieved. Just relieved and not pleased. The phrase " Huh.. All because you are late, this happened..". is used not less than 10 times in the next 1 hour. At the end, both are left with the feeling that having this "meeting/dinner" today was not a great idea at all. You see "the wait" is not such a pleasant thing after all.

P.S: This post has been waiting in the draft section for a while now. I have started hating the word "wait" after completing this post. Don't you feel the same???

Kab Tak Pukaroon???

The hapless victim is there, lying on the roads, naked, exploited by the all those who could (read the wealthy, influential and the powerful). She cries for justice and pleads the judiciary to punish the guilty. Tired of the long wait she seems to ask "Kab Tak Pukaroon???". Does the voice ring in our ear drums? Are we able to feel anything at least? May be slowly we citizens are able to feel the pain, thanks to the huge protest by the the TV channels like NDTV and CNN-IBN. But the question is will the judiciary hear it and more importantly will the "Andha Kaanoon" see the truth and punish the guilty?

No, I am not talking just about the Jessica Lall murder case. I am talking about the "victim" in the Indian society in general. 7 years is a long time. Why does the judiciary take this much of time ? How can one leave a "murderer" scott free on the roads? Isn't the judiciary risking the lives of many others by doing so? By doing that, we are giving a chance for the murderer to to commit more crimes( that's what I believe has happened in the case of Jessica Lall's murder case). Worse still, justice is not guaranteed to the victim at the end of this long ordeal for things like the "witness turning hostile" might always happen. I was moved when I heard what Sabrina Lall, Jessica's sister said in the NDTV programme.This is what she said when Barkha Dutt asked her if she was hopeful of getting the guilty punished.

Yeah, I have a glimmer of hope now. But there is always this fear that we might have to wait for another 7 years only to find the guilty escape without being punished.

That tells the entire story. And mind you her fears are very much realistic given that the Delhi Police are reluctant to carry out an inquiry again.( even after the nation wide protests).

A few days ago many youngsters like me all around the country were excited when a group of IITians established a political party. It is not difficult to see why there was so much of excitement. India needs good politicians and may be to begin with we need good citizens. Citizens who dont shy away from their responsibilities and instead fight for the truth whenever their fellows are metted out injustice. Till then, the "victim" will be there langushing in the dark, letting out that "Kab Tak Pukaroon" cry.

Don't police me !!!

It's been a while now since I have posted. These days I start writing about something and then after going through it half way, I loose the motivation to finish it, and proceed to click the "Save as Draft" button. Now some of my thoughts are lying around as drafts, waiting to assume a concrete form.( that of a post)

Breakfast before bath or after bath( on hoildays). This is a never ending argument between me and my parents. The idea of "breakfast only after bath" really puts me off. Dad always wants me to take bath early in the morning ( 9:00 am is really early when you get up at 8:30 am.). Sometimes I feel that he is too obsessed with water. I hardly even open my eyes and I get to hear the bathroom call "Hey.. hot water is ready. Go and take bath". Urghhhhhhhhhhh!!!! One can always bath after breakfast. Wiser souls in my hostel often used to preach that a "bath" should not be considered a daily excercise ( like brushing your teeth) irrespective of the avaibility of water. Some enlightened souls even used to tell me that act of bathing (rubbing one's body daily with a soap) daily would make one's body melt like a soap. Some soap for thought this now. However,I don't like to have lunch without taking bath. I don't like to bath early on a holiday only because a "bath" takes away the lazy idyllic delight from a holiday. An early bath robs the "holiday feel" out of it and makes it just like any other day.Hmmmm... I haven't been successful in convincing my parents yet.

Now that was an advice from my parents. If I can get pissed off for that, then what about the advice that any other guy on the road gives me? How do I react if some outsider imposes rules on me? Yeah.. I am talking about "Moral Policing". As long as one doesn't cause any trouble or nuisance to the society, why should one's actions be policed? I fail to understand why people get worked up when an youngster decides to spend an evening with his girl on a day called "Valentine's Day". And it's just not a few people who feel that way. There are quite a few organizations out to uphold India's culture and traditions. The dictionary defines culture as " the totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought". Why is it then that the culture which is supposed to be a socially transmitted behaviour pattern forced on the youth? If the organizations are really serious on their intent, I believe they should preach the youth about the culture instead of policing them. After all an idea like the "Valentine's day" is also a socially trasmitted behaviour pattern( although from a different culture).

I sometimes wonder if the "moral police" and the various "Protect Indian Culture" organizations have a serious intent. Their natural reaction seems to be "To protest"- to protest against Valentine's day,to protest against Sania's dress code, to protest against the Danish cartoons. These protests can vary in the intensity and can go on the extent of claiming the lives of innocent people .( now we need to start another "protest" against this). The idea of salwar kameez clad women playing tennis never struck me . Also, I never imagined that the words Cartoon and Violence could ever come together to form the word "Cartoon Violence" . Now all these are possible( and have happened) thanks to these protests.

What does the "aam junta" think of the Moral Police? Do they take them seriously? Recently, on Valentines day some of my collegues in the office played the "Game of Moral Police" where they did'nt allow my friend who was recently engaged to speak to his valentine for the entire day. It was fun. Everytime they stopped him from receiving her call, the disgruntled exprerssion on his face was funny to watch. The excitement with which he called his girl at the end of the day ( when the Game was over) was a real "dekho" ( didn't deserve to be missed). May be an year or two down the lane, we will see kids who don't have girl friends playing this "Game of Moral Police" with the ones who have girl friends. Finally, Moral policing seems to be nothing but a joke. Haa.haa!!!

Who could it be?

I had just escaped the Red Signal. As my bike made its way through the narrowest of ways between the car and auto-rickshaw, the green signal turned red. But my bike was in no mood to relent and speeded away. Now then on the busy roads of Hyderabad, the traffic doesn't mitigate just because you have passed a traffic signal. Instead you are exposed to the risk of an UMO( Unidentified moving object) hitting you from any corner. Your ears are also exposed to the relentless horns of the corporate cabs whose drivers drive as if on a highway. Not surprisingly, driving is no longer a pleasure.

Amidst all this buzz, I can feel something buzzing in my trouser pocket. It was my cell. Who could it be now ? May be it's "her" ( No matter what.. no matter how many times my ego gets crushed by my "crushes",the romantic in me never ceases to exist. Is it really "her"? Or is it "he"? ( Now then don't misunderstand me.. Of course,I am straight.. "He" stands for my boss who might be pulling his hair because I slipped out of office without informing him.) Or may be it is a regular "When will you reach home??? " call from Dad. All these thoughts flash across my mind in less than a second as I slow down my bike and move towards the footpath in order to lift the call. On my way, I need to overcome the "Will you run me down" looks of the Hyderbadi Nawab ( In Hyderabad the pedestrian on the road does walk like a Nawab ). Fighting all these, I manage to apply the brakes, stop the bike and take off my helmet( bloody hell isn't it a pain). The call is from some "anonymous" number and that only increases the curiosity. I say "hello" and this what is what the person at the other end has to say "This is free call from Airtel....". Huh.!!!!!$#@#$%#!@#&%@!#@!#$@^. Life never ceases to surprise!!!