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Sunday, January 29, 2012

Shrutified

I was near my bike. I was angry and irritated with Shruti. She was supposed to say sorry to me.  She didn’t call me since the 3-4 days thanks to the stupid Out Bound Learning Programme (OBL) for her team. 

I expressed my displeasure to her and I got it back from her. You –do- not- understand-how-busy-I-am and all that stuff. I was waiting for a sorry from her and now she shouted at me and made me feel so guilty that I was wondering if I should tell her sorry. 

My damn bike also seemed to be in that kind of a mood. It wasn’t starting. I wondered why. After a minute of repeatedly kicking the kick rod with all my energy, I realized that I didn’t switch on the engine.


This normally would have invited a tap on the head from Shruti. A sheepish grin on my face would follow. Now that she decided not to come with me, there was no grin.

Instead only 4 letter words were to be heard #&%*. My bike surely would abandon me and run away if it was human.

I drove for less than 1 km before a red signal stopped me. The bike was on neutral gear but I was accelerating it so much that the uncle on the Honda Activa next to me gave me a hard stare. I gave back a cold – I- don’t- care look.

The green signal ended the battle of stares and I saw the uncle grumbling. May be he was lamenting about me and the present day generation to his wife in the pillion seat.

It was all the rage on Shruti in my mind as I was driving. I was driving faster and without a care for anyone around me. There were lots of buses on the road and the traffic was moving slowly. 

There were 2 buses in front of me very close to each other. Initially these were like 2 parallel lines with space between them but then they came so close that they almost seemed to intersect. 

The passengers in one of the buses was spitting on the road between the two buses. “What an idiot”, I thought.

Less than a minute later I found myself to be bigger idiot as my bike stood right next to his seat in the bus. I didn’t know how I managed to get between the buses and the distance between them was getting too close for me. 

At one instant, I found the buses aligned in such a manner that there was no space for me to move.  I stopped my bike and was trying to get it out of the mess moving front or back. But I wasn’t able to.

Damn Shruti! I was so lost about our fight that my brain wasn’t coordinating my driving.  I could hear a lot of voices of the people in the bus damning me and this included the idiot who spit on the road earlier.

They asked me to stay still in the same position so that one of the buses would move. Finally I was out the mess with around 20-30 people staring at me. But still I couldn’t care less.

How could Shruti do this to me?  I never understand when she claims to be busy. Couldn’t she call me up once and talk to me for 5-10 minutes?

It was always I who called and she would talk for less than a minute or two with me. I guess she doesn’t care for me now.

I was also worried about the morons in her team. They didn’t seem to have any other work except getting her involved in every small issue.

I mean the earth wouldn’t stop rotating if Shruti was not in a meeting. They were all planning for the corporate 10km run this weekend.

I took a right near a crossroads that did not have any signals. For a moment, I saw all the morons in Shruti’s team running across the road in the same direction that I was driving .

I wondered why? Was this the preparation for the marathon? Were they trying to impress Shruti?


HONK! There was a bus coming from the other direction honking its soul out. I was right in front of the bus. I realized I was the only vehicle trying to cross the road.  I accelerated and moved ahead to give way to the bus.

The morons who were crossing the road were regular people and not Shruti’s team mates. With me in the HATE Shruti mood, everything around seemed to be someone related to her. Ha… What a day!

Two stunts from me on the road and I was still halfway away from home. May be I shouldn’t drive whenever we fight. Perhaps the government should have a DON’T FIGHT & DRIVE rule for guys. And they shouldn’t let girls drive at all.

I wondered what Shruti would be doing that moment? Would she be cursing me like the way I was cursing her? I preferred that to Shruti not thinking about me at all.  How could she even do that?

May be one of her project managers offered to drop her home. There was not one project manager who would do it for me. At some distance I saw Shruti getting out of a car.  That looked like her Project manager’s car.


Was I lost again? Everyone on the road seemed to be like Shruti and her team.  But then I suddenly realized that I wasn’t getting my driving right.

I was racing towards her Project manager’s car and I was too close. I wasn’t sure if that was her PM or not but I was sure about racing towards the car.

I turned to move towards the right. As luck would have it, the driver opened the door of the car and I banged into it. Luckily the driver moved inside seeing me and my bike racing.

After 3 years

It has been quite some time since the traffic incident happened. I was lucky that day and escaped that day with some bruises and cuts. It was Shruti that day and the poor driver was indeed her Project manager. After more such fights and peace attempts , we got married a year and a half ago.

My traffic adventure that day thanks to the Shrutified effect on my brain that day was a major point on my CV that was presented to her parents.

There were a many aunts pinching my cheeks hard and red teasing me that Shruti is always on my mind. Shruti had the blushiest blush whenever anyone asked her about the incident.

Shrutified was now a common term among my friends and relatives. When someone said a guy is Shrutified, it meant that the guy was so hopelessly in love with a girl that she was always on his mind- especially in the traffic.

Things have changed a bit after marriage. We have had a big fight 3 days ago. We work at the same work place and I drive her by car to office everyday.

The drive to office hasn’t been a pleasant one since 3 days considering the fact that is one time when Shruti finds me listening to her sitting at one place.

This is what happened today morning.

Shruti: You no longer love me the way you did before marriage.
Me: Of course, I do love you. What makes you think so.
Shruti: Do you remember the traffic incident?
Me: Of course, how can I forget that? Silly you. I was Shrutified.
Shruti:  That day you were so concerned about me and thinking about me, that you were lost  in the traffic. I have been yelling at you since the last 3 days in the car and I see no effect on you whatsoever. You don’t love me anymore.

I stopped my car as we reached our workplace.

Shruti looked irritated perhaps by the fact that I was able to drive and stop as I do it daily without the slightest hint that would reflect my reaction.

“Go to hell”, said Shruti and stepped out of my car.

I was surprised too. My mind was now able to put Shruti and driving in separate compartments.

Did I not care for her? Of course I did. Of course I loved her as much as I did then.
Perhaps it was the adrenalin and the youthful zest that made me react that way back then.

I guess I am now more experienced with the whole girl err woman err Shruti thing and immune to her bad moods.

Of course I can't ram my car into a truck every other day just because we fought at home.   You know luck might not be on my side always.

I now understand what people mean when they say a marriage will bring stability to a man’s life.  

I can’t quite remember the last time I was totally Shrutified. But I definitely had to come up with a reasonable explanation to Shruti today evening. If not, I was sure to be crucified.

May be I should just tell her that traffic in Hyderabad has improved dramatically since the last 3 years!

5 comments:

  1. you need to ram your car into a truck while driving to office. and then if you both survive, you can get double-shrutified!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Marriage brings stability to a man's life" LOL! That is why it is said "love is blind but marriage restores a man's sight" ;-)

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  3. -Useful info! I bookmarked it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @truevoid - interesting insight ..included that line in my post :)
    @shank - you bet :)
    @banti - welcome to JALSA and Umm...Wow!Huh?

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